okay let it be known what an awesome sister i am
i'm dedicating this post to my dear brother who's havin his a's like today!!
nervous yet bro?
haha anyway, here goes

heyhey! i don't know your favourite color anymore, so i'll just use green
it's the color of your room for goodness sake
so you should be able to bear with it
you've been bearin it for like seven years?okay anyway, all the best in your a's
shut the bloody computer and go sleep. at least that's what i'd do
stop studyin, you study too much and your brain will go bonkas
that's what my com arts teacher said. anyway
you should sleep well right?
okay ALL THE BEST! LY! YOU CAN DO IT!!AH JIA YOU CHACHACHA!
aha. thnks to the seven o'clock show.xdxd
God bless and love you yea?
dad's prepared to celebrate as soon as your exams end
it's his only excuse to eat:)
but he won't read this so shh. don't let it get out.
kkay i'm going
have A WILD A LEVEL EXAM AND YOU'LL HAVE A WICKED AWESOME TIME PLAYING SO BAD your heart drops out
so there...

anyway, eight of january i am sure will be the weirdest
and saddest part of my life.
okay whatever so i'm exaggerating but that's what i do

today was the same
except my dad sorta saved my life.
urgh, terrible dreams. i was about to be killed by some furry hand thing
and i was like omg dun let me die!! i don't wanna die
and then BAM! 'gloria, wake up eleven plus twelve already! wake up!!!'
okay this is the first time i'm extremely grateful that my dad woke me up
there was another time he woke me up
and i was in the middle of the sweetest dream ever.
i can't tell you what the dream was
but anyway, i ignored him almost the whole day
man, poor dude i must say, had no idea what the heck was goin on
oops

another time, when i was around six, i was being badly deprived of ice pops
and i dreamt that my mom had given my brother and i one each.
man i was elated. was like this is wicked awesome
so i saw my brother enjoying his and suddenly i thought
'i'd better get a big giagantic colossal chomp of mine
before i wake up
fair enough, i tore open the wrapper, brought my mouth right up to the damn thing
and i swear, my toungue didn even touched that cursed treat when came the all too familiar
'gloria,wake up!'
it was hard not to want to scream my lungs out at my mom
sad.

my worst nightmare has to do with chopped up hands all bloody and wrinkly
you dont' even wanna hear 'bout it
i think i almost fainted in the middle of that one.
sheesh...

i tell you, nightmare are dreams whose parents didn't teach them well.
in this case, i'm startin to hate disobedient dreams.
okay nevermind..

anyway, the first week of the holidays are almost over
i'm startin to regret every last minute i spent durin this week.
no kiddin.
it was either de docs or wowp or archie's
and i just finished this book
which i might say is 100% DEPRESSING
not a holiday book. nope it was born to kill hearts or something
but it was quite well written i guess. but it sure was depressin depressin....

let's step up the beat for this is me jest!
and bring up get back too.

man i'm bored. it's badminton later.
i just feel like piggin out on ruffles
but that's never gonna happen since my voice is half gone anyway.

i'm leavin on a jetplane
don't know when i'll be back again...
okay so maybe not on a jetplane but you get the idea...yea

okay so i went to kkh again in the morning....
said hello to this therapist or something...
anyway, poor dude i must say,
apparently my descriptions of my leg problems were too vague...
dang...
he must be quite good i suppose,
he said it was prob some nerve thing
no actuall he said some long long name thing,
but like oh well i'm no doctor or whatever so
i didn really understand
okay anyway..
boy, i tell you i'm goin crazy
one doc's tellin me
it'snot my nerve but my muscle,
another dude sayin its prob my nerve
and impossible to be my muscle.
and i'm like huh? okay
sheesh.
then on the way back,
jestellynn and I messaged each other
AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME
and the content wa about the same.
go listen to this,
go learn to play that..
haha talk about
phsyced
is there such a word?? no srsly,
sometimes, i make up weird words
and i totally forget if there's really such a word
anyway,
going off for piano soon...

OH AND I FIGURED OUT THE APPLE SEED THING!!!
cool huh?
joycelyn's friend wrote something that i'm sure should be classified under
cheemology or something like that
and i FOUND OUT
okay so maybe i didn crack it but i
did manage to get the meaning.

the holidays are so far rated as
INCREDIBLY BORIN
with my bro's a's on the line
none of my friend's can come over..
man
so
i spend my time


sleeping....

and sleeping...
and...
okay never mind.
just let it be known to the world how bad the holidays are now
i think the clock i'm starin at now has really gone
cuckoo
unless now is like nine...
and i'm pretty sure i had lunch a mighty long time ago.
sad case
that pure clock didn last that long despite its fairly
cool looks.
okay whatever,

i think i'd better be going...
but i don't really know the time...
oh welll.

peaches for peach!

this was the photo taken at macs...
didn get any of cindy though...
she was sittin like diagonally across me
across the freakin red sea of school books...
haha,
anw, i'm still sick...
actually sick isn even close...
i think someone blew a grenade or whatever you call those bomb thingamajigs
right down my nose and through my throat...
each time i swallow,
i sound like a monkey wheezing.
trust me, that doesn't sound nice at all...
no kiddin..

anyway, almost the whole of today,
okay maybe the whole afternoon
but when you wake up that late like i do,
it really makes no difference.
anw, so i spend the mst of today
at some nav or singapore poly
or okay forget it,
it was just some kinda reunion thing...
it was kinda weird seeing people
who knew me,
when i didn know them
so i just kept smiling...
trust me that is not an easy task
when someone shoves some kinda
bomb into down your nostril or something...
eww..
it was just... ouch...
i felt really bloody..
as in like blood was fillin my lungs..
and that is sick...

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT!
yesterday,
wowp new episode came out!!
talk about esastic!
th even other cool thing...
DEMI'S HIT CAME TOP!!
okay so maybe its not that fantastic or something...
but whatever!
YES!
jest was like
bloody, demi's hit came top
in whatever....
i didn really read what it came top at...
after the word top
i was just like
okay you don't really dun wanna know...

I'M EATIN GRAPES!!
they don't seem to have any taste at all
but thats just cos of the bloody grenade thing...
sheesh...
can't taste a single thing
nil. nada. nothing in munagin.
at least they are kinda coolin
but i srsly cun taste anything...

mission impossible two is on now...
i dunno why i'm being comletely random now..
but oh well.
if you haven't already known,
randomness and bad grammar and spellin mistakes are my things
get use to it...
cos i dun think i can not make any spellin or grammar mistakes
within even just half a post.
so oh well.
sorry bout that mates!

oops. didn realize i didnt post this post..
so it was saved as a draft.
well i'm postin it now aren't i?
you can't blame me just cos
someone shoved me into a
brainwashin machine when i was only little..
so here goes


haha it took me pretty long to finish watchin another cinderella story...
i finished almost to the end like a month ago...
but just last week.. i didn feel too lazy so i decided to finish the little bit left.
it was cool.
but disappointin.. i think
anyway, this week end was some passport to purity thing...
at some hotel..
with somepeople....
it was quite cool..
but i was pretty badly ill...
anyway... the hotel was kinda cool.
there was a shoppin cemtre there.
which was kinda cool
oh and carl's fries are so awesome...
haha
the potatoes aren fully peeled.
which is so funny

haha
anyway, today jest came to church again!!
oh and cally too!
but i switched off my phone so she wasn able to contact me
so what a cool surprise i had
only i didn tell them to bring extra clothes for the wet games
cos i didn know they were comin
good thing i had my purty big lugguage with me
and found clothes enough to go round..
so we had fun with shaving cream
yea it was some really cool game..
and there was water bombs...
we had quite a cool time


but i'm still ill..
bleah
i hate it
thanks to jest's prediction...
she betted that i'll fall sick after school's out...
and it happened...
i think i've never fallen sick after school out though...
jestellynn!! what have you done!!!!!
i feel sick


okok then that's all folks!

okay today was boring, is boring and will be boring.
tomorrow too.
don'd you just hate the days after exams?
as in the first few days.
each time you've got nothing to do, you deicde to revise
so you poick up your notes and suddenly you remember,
' oh yea i forgot the exams are over i dunnid to revise for like awhile'
and then you suddenly realize you have a pathetic life.
so you switch the tevee on and guess what's on tv?
some chinese game show designed so people like me can't understand.
boy, what a life eh?

anyway, can't wait till tmr, its THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!
but that means not only will i get bored in the afternoons but in the mornings as well.
sigh
but at least i getta sleep in alittle an spare my alarm
from a heart attack when i crash it each time after it rings.
but it is anoyin sometimes when you're sleepin ever so soundly and suddenly,
BAM!
anyway, i think we're getting our report cards today.
okay i am fully loaded with a box of kleenex.
okay maybe not a whole box, but a packet
take it or leave it, i usually don't bring tissue's anywhere...
sorry for the crappin but i'm waiting for WOWP
to load... and dang is it takin a long time.

jest's watchin sel's acting too.
i think.
only hers look like its loadin fine...
WELL THAT'S COS SHE'S GOT IT FINGERS!
no kiddin
and i got hooked onto a song...
thanks to jest. again. and abigail's teaching me this dance i think i'll never be able to do
and the school's jammoin piano is spoiled
and i think i'm gonna die of boredom soon
and i think i'm gonna faint when i try luggin my 'baggage'
full of school books i left in school.
and everyone goes ' why'd you leave everything in school?'
well duh, that's why they are called SCHOOL books.
only now... i think i'm gonna be crushed under the weight of not only my school books but
drama props, slippers, clothes, and who know's maybe even my science proj...
ifd we had any,...
wonder how i'm gonna go home.
guess i'll just have to beg cindy to help me...
haha poor her though.
those books and all the other junk i've accumilated are HEAVY
and you know, my rooms not that neat either...
i've packed some already though..
gee, i'll probably need a bulldozer to clear everything...
A MAXIMUMED SIZED BULLDOZER.
yea... any idea if they seel thos here?

okay so now i'm staring at the cher who is staring at his tablet
and the show is still NOT LOADING
gosh the class is one hell of a racket..
is that how you spell it?
anyway, this friday's gonna be quite cool.
gonna go kk again.
the food at the kopitiam isn really good though,
so i hope we get to make do at macs.
or deli
or whatever.
just not the place where the milo tastes like milk gone weird...
oh great.
its only ten plus.
that's a long way till school's out.
the way the website is loading,
i'll barely make it outta school alive.
and by the time i return home
squashed under my collosal mess of 'locker things'
you'd prob only see the part of me which didn't suffer a terrible death...
which means, you prbobaly won't see me at all..
ok fine i'm exaggerating.
but i can't help doing that i this place
great somethings wrong with the video.

you know what?
i never bring sticky tape t school
and i'm starting to regret.
what happes if my luggage breaks down halfway?
i'd be in bigg boogus

okay it's loaded.
i'm gona go watch.
oh crap
it's down again
sigh.

haha
oh my
this is soooo boing
okok i shan;t bore no one no longer
peaches ad cream

today was cool than ordinary sundays.
way cooler.
jestellynn and her rents came to our church!
it was the usual then we headed over to vivo.
for a oring place it was quite fun to walk around.
but then again we were quite lost tryin to find our way around.
it was plenty of fun doing our interview shows as usual.haha
then we went to eat then we went to candy empire
i love that place so mush i'm starting to hate it
its like giving a starving man a menu
or a beggar a menu for some restaurant you know he'll never be ble to afford
thats exactly what candy empire is.
but anw, after our fickleminded-ness, we finally managed to grab cool snacks.
we both bought thin cadbury choc slices( one for cindy:))
and reeses pieces in m&m form.
at least that's what i call it
man they were good.
then we went to an accesorie shop to goof around.
it was so weird trying on outrages hair clips that are so brilliantly large,
its a wonder how they fit on anybody's head.
anw, i grabbed what i needed for school so i wouldn get hammered/
and den yea. we walked around a bit
then i came home.

i'm really dreading monday,
the teachers never seem to be able to give you a break.
plus i don't like the stupid attendance machine that doesn't recognise your face
and they say you can actually shave your head and you 'd still recognise the poordudette
deprived of a nice hairstyle.
haha

it's so boring now cos my family's playing guitar.
which i can hardly do.
so i'm just sittin here trying to act like i'm part of the chair.
apparently i'm doing a fairly good job of it.
i mean all i do is sing and since my brother doesn't do that much
my familydun do that much
because that's that i am
the adapter.
that's my job
except i cant last in too hot or cold a weather.
so i can't adapt to any weather.
i could freeze right up in a jiffy if i was in korea's winter time in my everyday clothes.
but then again.
who wouldn?
haha
i suddenly thought of korea because of that dude who looks like a girl.
in fact i think he'd make a very pretty girl.
pity though, now he's a pretty guy.
haha. sounds weird though,


anw, i shall depart now


it's what i do best
and it's the only passable test
blending in the couch it's no chore for me
it might be hard to pass math or geography
but blending in the couch
that's where i'll be
you can't blame me for not doing what everyone else does
it's no use kicking up such a big fuss
when all that'll be left at the end of the day is unsettled dust
so i advice you to be like me
stay on the couch and blend in so no one will see

ello!
haha. today is friday. today is also MRI day.
today is also the day i skipped school! HAHAHA!!!
MRI was the coolest. and the hospital clothes were soo comfy, i really wanted to buy one.
my dad wanted to too but my mom was so anxious she wasn't fun anymore.hmph
oh well. so i changed into this pink gown and robe and they sent me in.
they strapped me down to this humongousiouscous(is that how you spell it'?)
then they gave me earplugs that didn fit.and a headphone with the radio blarin.
i wanted to tell them to turn it down but boy i'm glad they didn.
they just kept reminding me not to move that for a moment i wondered if i was actually allowed to breathe.
then they pushed me into this big intimidating tunnel and reminded me again to keep still
and then the music continued blaring.
but like i said i was extremely glad it was that loud.
because the magnet machine was even louder.
i was like what the hell, i can't hear the music.
i swear it was like my ears were being blown off. the machine was bloody loud.
it took a while but i think i kinda got used to it.
i tried to stifle my giggle when i saw the funny stickers pasted onto the machine.
haha. it was weird. felt giddy but definitely i don't think i'm not claustrophibic( wait i dun think the spelling's right)
they gave me a bell to press in case anything wrong happened. i almost pressed it when the noise started. i was so startled, i almost pressed the beeper. almost. the noise was horrible.
but it was really quite fun lying there.
i dunno how long i was there.
but finally they pulled me out. and despite the noise it was super thrilling.the blanket they wrapped was really comfy too and extremel warm.
it ws just wicked awesome
it was tons colder than the waitin room so of course i needed such a thick blanket.
I LOVED THE CLOTHES!!!
they are the most comfy stuff i've ever worn.
and i was sad to have to take them off.pity.
lala. if only we wore like nicer pattered versions of them as school uniforms.
haha.
yup so i definitely had lotsa fun, left my worrying to God and apprently my mom.
i did not think about the results or the fact that i might have to stop sports.
cause that would just have to spoil all the fun.
although at the back of my mind it keeps bugging me.
although i do try to block it out.

then i came back and slept from like eleven to three forty, ate lunh,
finished up piano theory and then i went for piano, bought chocs and stuff and came home.
i'm going to badminton already. i just wanna keep my smile up.
like they say, even if you're not feeling good,
just keep smiling, you never know how your frown affects other people,
and they didn offend you so just smile. i am contended though.
not many fourteen year olds get the chance to go into a giagantic magnet that makes noises louder than anyone has probably heard.
haha.

oh well, i gotta gp.
but i'll be back.
so keep those smiles up:)
xdxd peachy keens

maybe if i squeezed my eyes shut
maybe if i blocked out the words everybody was saying
the pain would go away.


okok my dad is like weird. he doesn't want me to post.so i hafta pre-type(is there such a word?)
on noteback then paste onto blogger post.haha
which is what i'm doing now..haha

ok let the fun roll.
haha exams were over on like wed..
but i was too busy playin..haha

WEDNESDAY
anyway.
on wednesday after exams we were suppose to go to bugis..
but. machines spoiled our plan... apparently the school had this new gadget that takes your attendance by recognisin your face..
weird if you ask me. so we have to key in a code, and place our face in front of the camera and wala! we were present for school!
cool eh?
but it wasn't that cool cos it meant we had to stay back longer to verify our faces or some thingamajic.
and because we did it class by class, ours was scheduled to like one fifteen.
and school ended at nine fifty after math paper..
so we went to ikea.
it was awesome!!
we ate the lunch there and went to walk around.
haha we took loads of pictures with weird stuff.haha..
and then we went back to school and den we went to bugis.
and abi and i managed to walk the WHOLE LENGTH of the mrt
we were like 'scuse me so sorry!! and yea.the mrt was packed quite bad.
but it added to the fun
but val jest maycia abi and cindy were so ired of waiting for us, they got out on one of the stops and ran to the end to walk with us. but they didn know were so fast we had alr reached the end they came from
hha that was smashing awesome!!!
we had macs cos val didn eat lunch...
and abi poofed the whole wad of napkins we didn even use,haha
talk bout saving the trees in pbl.haha
it rained though. and only jest had an umbrella
haha so we bought a big giordano one.
haha


it was quite fun there shoppin and all..
cindy met her beloved joyce from the tuzi band.
boy was she elated.
haha. but joyce is real sweet and of course they pai zao again.haha
den we went to bugis street from bugis junction.
the shades there were aplenty.
haha.

then it was off to buy ballet stuff.
abi and maycia neede leotards and val needed pointes.
and i needed demi pointes(mine are so freakin small alr..)
it was real fun there,playing with this turn cloth thingamajig.
yea. spent a bombthere..
my mom came along.haha
den my mom and i went to ps to meet my dad who came from the hospital.
we ate real good food there. the food court sells real cool stuff if you ask me!!
and then abit of shoppin and den we headed home.
i had to chiong art.
due on thursday. and i hadn done the color scheme and all
picked an autumny color in the end which looked weird.
i loved abi's design. it was so...dancy...haha
just like her.
have i mentioned that abigail has a natural talent for dancing?
she is just like awesome!!!
my mom was quite fascinated with my art and ended up helpin
me make a folder..
thnks mom!!
then i had to pack.
cos th next day was
WILD WILD WET!

THURSDAY

oh man. i woke up like only a little later then school days
and it was all for nothing
met the rest at the bus stop outsde school.
and there were rainbows all over us!!!
haha
and none of us wanted to enter school with outside clothes.
so we just wated and thnk God, cindy's friend came in school u.
so she helped us. thankyou cindy's friend!!
and off we were to wild wild wet.
only jest's mom called and said wild wild wet only opened at one..
which we didn know.
good thing jest's mom told us though...
so we went to white sands to wait
it was fun...
ohoh
and abi and i managed to walk the WHOLE LENGTH of the mrt AGAIN
the mrt was sooo empty, we could race each other.
we got to the end really fast.
the people looked pissed when they saw us running.
but they began to look amused when they saw us running BACK.
haha
it was wonderfully awesome!!!! whhhee!!
and i got really high!!
and we went to macs(again) for breakfast.
where i spilled a whole tray of milo and hash browns by slippin on the way up the stairs
oh man...HAHA
so jest brought me to the washroom, abi went to get help
and they actualy replaced the whole tray of food for us.
no actually only the milo but that's a long story
yea but anw, it was fun eatin and chattin at macs

and embarrassin...but oh well
haha
and den after th arcade and walkin around
( hey i didn play okay? i didn wanna get broke. but i did help with the basket ball game!!*wink)
we took a bus to www..
and we met jest's mom.
and after the long processpf waiting, we finally got in!!!
and it was so smashing cool!!
wewent to the wave pool the bendy river like pool with a cuurrent and de biggggg slide!!
oh man!!
we wanted to get the picts but eight dollars? for a pict?
no way.
haha. but we ahd fun just the same and thanks to abl's water proof bag, we managed to get
picts.!!
haha. i dunno if i left anything out..hmm
oh yea and i met yining and her friend.
i know her name but i dunno how to spell it so i'll just refer to her as yining's friend no probs?
okok
yea and so talked to her for a little bit
after washing up and all we went to this small cafetaria for fries and drinks
it was so fun!!
we crpapped around, me and jest doin weird skits as usual, tryin not to crack up durin the 'filmin'
haha
den we headed home
the day was SMASHING AWESOME!!!!
YEA!

FRIDAY

kkh today.
took bus with mom
but we overshot te stop so we had to walk back and so we were late.
haha
went for spine x-ray...HAHA.
it was fun but i had to change into this weird super long pink dress or ssmth
it was quite weird but it was comfortable.
the nurse was jokin about me being prenant(??!!!!what)
and i was like haha. yea. kinda weird...
but the doc says i still hafta go for MRI
which is damn costly..
my dad says i love him too much cos he needs to go for mri too
so he says i love him thats why i wanna follow him do the same thing
haha
and we had a lovely lunch and marina.
saba and beef noodles and bimbimbab
haha its real good,
awesomely tasty,
and den i walked around with mom
and dad want to esplanade
and den we bougth GLORIA JEAN'S COFFEE
they were havin a special so one cup only cost like two dollars
not bad if you ask me
but if i were ego i would say its nice cos it's got my name on it.
haha
den now i am home bloggin
hafta go piano later!!
bah. i wanna sleep
wanna skip piano but just suggestin that would make me mom flip
ha.
yea.


i'll upload the picts in the next post cos this one's alr so freakin long.
man..
okok

toasts to happy hols!!

literature.
rad... that's all i can say... they cut down the timin to like one fifty...
i wrote so fast my hands feel like they've been put into a fire now.
haha. i think wrote wrongly for one question.
so... oh well..
can't wait for tmr after math!!
haha it's so cool that our end years are gonna be over soon!
but i'll miss being this grade... oh well.
on the bright side, next year i'll be able to train with monique and the rest.
i'll miss the grad ones though. they sure a real wackily fun! haha

anyway, had lunch with jest,cindy,maycia,abi and val..
it was so funny. man, the subject of the lively chatter makes me lose my appetite sometimes
haha..

gotta chiong art... due on thurs.
which means we have to pass it up before leaving. dunno if that's good or bad.
why do all the pictures of the models they draw so anorexic looking?
they are too skinny and bloody tall,
it's hard to draw your own face there without puking..
and i have no idea how i'm gonna color it.
haven done color scheme..sad...
haha tmr is doomsday.
during math paper anyway.
sigh.

anyway, i feel like just sleepin now till tmr after the math paper.
but oh well.
my mom says i hafta drill more. which i'm gonna do like now. so yea. okok
have fun mugging or doing whatever you're doing!xd


-smile because you never know who is falling in love with your smile xd

Saturday

okay
i won't be going back to kfc soon..HAHA.
not theonein toa payoh anyway
youth was cool.
i for one one was glad it was held at the other church.
worship was fun... yea definitely. something different but still fun.
the message was really interesting.and meaningful
like the points given really got me to thinkin..haha
haha. i found myself actualy listenin to the whole entire thing!wow...
and i was actually excited bout the whole thing
and discipleship was... different.and nice. we had it on a stage.haha.
thnks to the camera..haha.
but the picts were blur.
thanks mel, for the awesome food!!!xdxd

dinner was smashing.
at kfc..haha
but it was freaky at the same time. the queues were long but serene and i
had no trouble entertainin ourselves and even almost sang veggetales...
haha.
okay the freaky part was when we were eating. some small kid came and "proclaimed her love for the whole of kfc" boy, kfc was bringing children smiles.haha.
but i dun think it's nice to explain in detail so i'll just leave it for your wildest imagination!
haha

SUnday

at the new place again.
haha.
not much happened actually.
just the ususal.
when to toa payoh so serene could meet her friend.
and oh my word, me saw the same girl we saw the previous day at kfc wearing the same thing!
serene just went like "i'm outta here" and dug behind me.
me? i was laughin my head off thinking how freaky it was.
we sat at mc donalds but we didn order anything
so we decided to go to the upper deck cos we won't be noticed.
but small kids with balloons and party hats ruined our plan.
so it was down to the corner of the first floor for a poor second best.
we just left some of the food that someone else had consumed on the table
and acted like we were stuffed full from macs.
haha,
cool idea eh?

everything else was the same though and tmr is chinese test.
bleah if you ask me.
but i'm really dreadin math...i'd rather do another history paper or smth.
haha.
but then after the exams its gonna be rad.
that's for sure.
i hope.
haha

even though we never mentioned her name,
she still lingered between the lines of our words...


ok history's down...
it was so weird
shouldn have wasted my time wrecking my brains
studying so much anout chandragupta and his mauryan empire.
in the end, they tested on China. and i freaked.
so i made up my own stuff that sounded right and just dumped everything together...
it kinda workds when i found out that jest wrote exactly the same. haha.
sweet.

maybe it was the right thing to walk away
maybe it was the right thing to pretend it didn't hurt so much everyday
maybe it was the right thing to let it go
but at the end of the day, i'll still never know
maybe it hurt when i turned my away
maybe it hurt when your eyes bore down right deep and you had nothing to say
maybe it hurt because it mattered so much
it's probably because my life you've touched
maybe i couldn bear to see you leave
maybe i couldn understand you or anyone else
maybe i was just lying to myself
it's not about a stolen treat
neither was it anywhere near sweet
it just tasted bitter
and it goes to show
it always hurts when you let someone go

i'm barely survivin suddenly..
its soo long till the exams are over.
it's not that i'm tired of studyin cos i dun study that much anyway..
okok so i do study quite a fair bit
but
that's not the point
the point is i can't do anything fun without feeling guilty...
i hate that feeling

i wonder sometimes,
how some people in the world seem to have everything
like big bizzare cars that are made to be able to go at a speed nobody is allowed to
have big houses with so many rooms and beds its amazing how they can never feel lonely
what i mean is
is it possible to have eveything in the world
and yet have nothing at all?
that's funny is'nt it?
but i think what's even more amazing to this thing is
is it possible to have nothing in this world
but yet have everything your heart could ever wish for?
it sounds so nonsensical
but at the same time,
it's like that's what keeps people living...

haha. oh well... i'll probably post something else later
haha

toasts to what i've become

haha oops.haha haven't posted for a few days...

four more papers to go..
i'm hanging in there...
i hope i live..
hahaxd