i gazed out the window as i prayed the storm would pass
maybe if the storm ever ended, she would come home
the final drops of rain never seemed to come
as i listened to the howling of the wind i imagined everything i ever wanted
grass wet from the morning dew tickling my feet
the sunshine warming my face
all i ever wanted was for the storm to end
all i ever wanted was to sniff the fresh smell that lingered in the cold air
after the last drops of rain fell
all i ever wanted was to breathe in the clean air
all i ever wanted was to be able to dream
maybe it was impossiblebut as impossible as it might seem
i waited and waited hoping the storm would pass
and i would see the rainbow of my dreams


the wind chilled my spine
frozed my body right up to the last vein
i held me breath,
hoping to make this moment last
as i pressed my nose to the glass pane,
my breath fogged up the glass
blocking my vision of the woman i would probably never see again
tears slipped down the curves of my face as i furiously rubbed away the thin mist
but i was too lateshe was gone...probably to some land i would never find

her hair was of the purest white
her face a mystery
there was something behind her eyes
that seemed to stare right down into the deepest secrets of my heart.
she seemed like an old fairytale
that had stepped right into the disaster of the present
she looked so strong yet too fragile to touch
just one touch and she might disappearshe might become just a white cloud of mist
it seemed like somebody that could keep you alive even in the deepest torments
and yet she looked like the cause of deaths
somebody who could disappear with the wind
and return with fire in her eyes

they aren't history.
A part of them still lives.
I am the part of them who would continue to travel lives’ journey.
They are the part of me that would give me the courage and strength to carry on living,
no matter how tough life gets...

sticks and stones may break my bones
but words can never hurt me
what a lie
those three words: they are gone
sank my heart to a place deeper than hell.
sticks and stones would definitely be much easier to bear...

in my mind, i was standing on a cliff,
i imagined jumping off.
i imagined spreading my hands trying to fly
i imagined myself falling
i imagined someone catchin me
someoned who would never let me go
then i realise that for the first time i
was doing something i had never done before
i was hoping...

i felt the heat of her palm scald my skin
i felt the heat of the sun shear through my face
i felt...
i felt the wind blow through my hair as i grasped her hand tightly, never wanting to let go
i felt a tear slide down the curves of my face
i felt her tug at my arm, urging me to go home
home..
were there any boundaries?
could home really be where the heart is?
could you really go to the ends of the earth and still be home?
how did home feel like
i would never know

it didn't matter that it would leave a scar
it didn't matter that i was harming myself
so long as i could relief myself of the numbness i'd been feeling
it might only be a short moment
but in that short moment i could find myself
in that moment i could breath
as i stared down at the sharp silver blade
i felt a sense of regret
okay so maybe it did matter that i would never be the same person anymore
maybe it really did matter that i would probably never feel the same again
but then i realised.
it might have mattered
but not to me
it might have mattered to the cheerleaders with perfect milky white skin
it might have mattered to the those bar attendents
but it didn't matter to me.

I would lay awake and fantasize that this whole thing was a fake
and that the next morning, I will be kissed awake by my mother
and my father would be at the dining table reading the morning news.
Long after my parents’ death, I would lay awake and try to listen to the wind howling,
wondering if it could be my parents’ way of communicating with me.
I would try to figure out if the reason my heart ached
and that I could not let go was because
my parents were still somewhere out there, alive,
looking for me...


unheard melody~

hey dudes&dudettes

life's been draggy during exam period...hmm. but i have fun lo
haha i have fun no matter what.
okok here goes:

FRiday.
four of us played sparklers. it was rad. me, nicole, jermyn and sae am...
it was real fun.haha.
there were some british people who seemed fascinated with our sparklers.
and they were like OMG CAN I HAVE ONE???...
haha it was so funny.
and den we made dis very very extremely cool thing.
i dunno how to describe it.
AH. should've taken a picture!!then it would be soo cool!!
but anyway, jermyn said he'd done it loads of times so we tried it out.
sae am was super cute luh her reactions!!
especially when we were tryin to build a flyer
. TRYING. whether it was successful or not, i don't know
but the matchsticks were gazillion years old.
but it was still smashin fun.
haha,,

SAturday.
studied at de library with nicole ad sae am.
it was freaking fun.
sae am smartly piled up all the books to make a make shift table.
nicole and i took extremely BIG,(understatement of the century)
chinese(of all books)=books which i repeat, were giaganticly crazily big..
that was a good idea. ecxcept when we put themon our legs,
it was super heavy...ow..
we struggled to get up everytime.hahaha
that was fun...

SunDay
first day in the other church.
it was fun i guess.
it sorta brought back the true meaning of church especially now that there is no air con and all..
but we went back to the old church for games later.
that was smashingly rad. it was so awesome.
oh and get this, i had no idea the things below the stage were cupboards!!!
ok so maybe i'm abit outta date, but it was soo cool!!!
then went lunch with yi ning mel and serene's friend(sorry i dunno how to spell your name lo)
at mos burger. it was funny. but yining kept starin at this guy who was playin smth vigourously( someone sugeested cooking mama(??)) they all thought it was gay. but none of us stared...
except yining... so we left in the end.
and i went for ballet.HAHAHAHA.
if you asked me how it went i'd say OWW...BIG TIME.

so dats how my weekends were.
if you wana know how my weekday will go, i'll just say
heck..i'm gonna be dead soon.
i dun think i can make it to wild wild wet even.
i'd be too dead.
but i HAFTA GO! IT'LL BE SMASHING AWESOME!!!
thanks to joycelyn's very far thinking, we've got lotsa stuff planned,
HAHA

okok i gotta go...
haha

caramelicous frothes
~caramello~

her eyes saw right through me..
i felt her gaze burning through my skin..
i could do nothing but look away...


okok latest news...just a short one...

maycia's coins dropped into her lunch just now...
hmm
jestellynn banged her head hard on the table during art while "arting"
her excuse?
i didn know the table was so high -.-
HAHA..
well at least that knocked some laughter into me. haha

anyway, joycelyn just let me listen to t-shirt...cool song lo!
too bad we cun get it off de place we usually get.
and aimini dun have it...haha

and dat dude on the bloskin, he's name is gaspard something.
weird name but cool..
hmm.. too bad he passed up the role of edward.. sad though.. he would have made it better i think..haha he's damn cool


it was quite mundane today other than these stuff
we just stared at the teacher most of the time.
and durin art, we were all fussing over the length of the model's body.
its really hard to draw proportion... sounds wrong but oh well..

i wana go sleep.

but now is lscep. the perfect time to just wack out.
so while i'm typin. joycelyn is lookin for songs,
jest is watchin some show with abi..

oh did i mention kusumo was "cat fighting" with su ann yesterday?
it was hilarious
of course they weren hurtin each other but i was laughin like hell..
my sides ached smacked when i laughed.
over my head flew tissue paper and other stuff they intended to aim at each other..
sadly, either they are good at dodging stuff or their aimin is...hmmm...
but it was bloody fun to watch anyway...wow...

haha

today we ended romeo and juliet and went on to the latest..
which was really wackily funny...
we are sooo creative compliments to jestellynn's wild imagination and our toning down...
it turned out something really cool..
haha

pieces of me..
haha that the song playin now... this i predict will be an extremely long post...
sigh...
i gotta study today when i get home and i'm dreading it!!
augh!!


joycelyn is doin my blogskin.haha
but
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ok dats all..haha no buts. its gonna be freakin cool... i hope. :)
haha


hmm..
nothing much else leh...
haha...
xd

don't ask... i sucked damn badly for math...
but oh well...

say hello to romeo and juliet.
and for once, i'm not the guy..
haha...actually, we fused many stuff together and modified the whole thing...
haha... and it was dead funny...
it made school superb..
fexcept for the results part...
thank God for cool ppl like dear Abigail...
the perfect life saver.
thnk you abi, you're the best!!!!
xdxd

american idol... if you wan to laugh your lungs freaking out.
some are just so obscene. wait did i spell that right?
but really, for a good laugh, watch american idol the first auditions...
HAHA

gee, i'd better go before i get skinned.
haha haven done my chores...oh well..
cheerios and nutkins.

felacaraphomeny

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now


i dunno why i put this song here... but i suddenly thought of it...

could you take my hand
and never let it go..
could you show me the world through your eyes
could you open up your world and let me feel
oh
cos i wish i knew if it was for real...

this feeling its so hard to let go
i worry that i won't ever know
cos i've given it all i have
but somehow you're still as far away as you've ever been

and i can't even seem to cry
cos no tear won't leave my eyes
i can't understand the reason why
i'm still where i began
could you take me back in time and back again.


mymy today i guess is song day...

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I have
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know...

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I knowThe first cut is the deepest
When it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure gonna give you a try
If you want I'll try to love again,
Baby, I'll try to love again,
but I know..oh,

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
When it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst..
Try to love again...



xd


"Obviously'
Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend
He drives me round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

Gotta escape now
Get on a plane now. yeah
Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years.
I'll put it behind me
Go to a place where she can't find me, oh.

'Cause obviously,She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, noNever will be good enough for her

She's outta my hands
And I never know where I stand
Cos I'm not good enough for her
He's good enough for her

Cause obviously,She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time'
Cause she'll never be mine
An I know i never will be good enough for her
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

today was crappy...
i couldn go to school!!!
and today our group was going to reherse the choral reading and because i didn go, they can't do anything!! I'M SOOO SORRY CASHMERE LO!!
AND SORRY JEST!! I COULDN PASS YOU YOUR HOME ECS STUFF!!! SOOOOO SORRY!!!
I WAS GOING TO BRING IT....i swear i was...

i was planning to come to school up till five thirty this morning when i couldn get up..
gosh the pain in my leg was excruciatin( did i spell that right? no i dun think so...) and i couldn even get up! i'm really reallly sorryy!!!
aughh my stupid leg... of all days to hurt, it had to hurt at the carnival and today. OF ALL DAYS!!!


and now i'm doing history.. going to the docs later...right like that would actually help....
and my mom arranged for me to see a physiotherapist.... crap... i bet its gonna hurt...
ouch...

ello!!
haha..okok... firstly it was seriously boring...
i joined my rents for badminton...
i was sooo tired i didn wanna play till the last like hmm... fifteen min?
slept most of the time though...
and i started askin myself why i actually went since i didn do much there anw.

today huiyi(joycelyn) got like super super freakin high..
cos we were talkin bout goin wild wild wet after the exams, which seem so far away...
and she kept jumpin up and down. i've never seen her so high since teachers day i think...
anw, she was like estatic...
well i am really excited and all too..
except got all the exams.
which by the way are seriously freakin me out.
its so stressin....
cos i dunno how to study and prepare...
so i'm just starin at my books and prayin hard i'll pass...
xd

anw, i'm sort band from chocs cos its got milk in it...bleah...
sigh, i'll miss them dreadfully...
AAUUGHH!!!

i hope mingyue comes soon though!!
MING YUE! I SHALL PERSONALLY INVITE YOU HERE OKAY?
PLS COME!!
WE ALL MISS YOU LOADS YEA??
ok good you're comin...



xdxd...

i feel like drinkin mango juice..dunno why...xdxd

oh and i've posted this before but since serene reminded me,

9 Things i can't understand
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where is yours?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'.right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No dear, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7 . When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here?
p.s.okay i noe this is not a letter but here goes: you prob have read this elsewhere...o.O

haha its so funny!!!!

okok i gtg now!!!
byes!!

hmmm...
today was okay...
church was fun...
the games were just awesome, complimemts the dianne xd.
i mean i think this is the first time since like youth camp we had such interesting games!!!
THANK YOU DIANNE!! GREAT JOB!!

and i can't tell you how awesome the first class went...
it was very..hmm... enlightenin? is that how its suppose to be described as?

i made my font extremely big and slanted...for a change...hm...
i think i preferred it when my background was black...
cos then my words can be more colorful...

and i shall depart you now
with a word of wisdom...
never stand under a durian tree...
especially in the fall...
or was it winter?
oh whatever,
just never stand under a durian tree at any time of the year...xd

The thing about telling lies is that after a while, you begin to believe your lies as well. Everyday, when everybody goes to sleep at night, I find myself creeping into the toilet just down the hallway. I am neither trying to show off nor am I trying to prove that I am daring. It is just to prove that I am still human, that I can still feel pain. As I feel the smooth blade slide through my skin, and see the ruby red blood ooze out of my cut, I feel relieved. Sure it hurts, but if this proves that am still normal and that I still have feelings, I am willing to do it. I tell myself that I am not hurting my body, that this is not an addiction and that in time, I will stop cutting myself. I tell myself that this pain I am feeling will make the rest of my problems disappear for one short moment. Even in just that short moment I am able to find myself, I am able to breathe...

cool eh?..haha nope, that's not me...
that's what wrote for hw...
part of what i wrote....
dunno why i'm puttin it here though...

All the talk about how sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me was just nonsense. For when my aunt gently broke the news to me, I felt my world crash right down to a place deeper than hell. The three words ‘they are gone’ will hurt my heart forever. Sticks and stones would have been definitely easier to bear...

haha...

For many long nights after my parents’ death, I would lay awake and fantasize that this whole thing was a fake and that the next morning, I will be kissed awake by my mother and my father would be at the dining table reading the morning news. Long after my parents’ death, I would lay awake and try to listen to the wind howling, wondering if it could be my parents’ way of communicating with me. I would try to figure out if the reason my heart ached and that I could not let go was because my parents were still somewhere out there, alive, looking for me....

I had already found a way to make myself seem less noticeable. I would keep my head bowed down and slug my shoulders. That way, nobody really notices me. It works. But each time I see a group of girls huddled together in one group laughing and looking as if they were the happiest girls in the world, my heart ached badly, and hot tears stung my eyes. But I never let my tears fall. Tears showed that I was weak and I needed to be strong if I wanted to survive


I entered the room, my eyes darting around the small enclosed but bright space. I was surprised. The councilor’s office was different from what all the rumors described. Instead of the shocking pink room with laces adorned at every corner and furry carpets I expected, I was met with a bright sunny yellow room with orange sofas that looked so soft I wanted to sink into one and disappear forever. Lovely paintings were hung on the wall and they seemed to be telling their own individual story.

I took a deep breath as I looked up at the building. It was painted a sunny yellow with a porch that had a garden swing. Girls were sitting on the wooden benches placed at the foot of the steps that let to the building. Nodding on slender stalks were flowers, white and palest pink: they glimmered as a mist amid the rich hue of the grass. Morning glories climbed up the building, reaching for the sun. The boles of trees glowed with a soft green like young grass. The twigs that fell to the foot of the trees were stretched out stiff and still, as if reaching out to the sun’s warm. The whole place in front of me looked like a dream. ‘Breathe in the country air my dear,’ my grandmother told me, ‘it’s good for your soul.’ I had never been to the country and I marveled at the field to the right of the building, with grass greener than I had ever seen. I took a deep breathe as my grandmother took me firmly by the hand and let me into the place that would change my life.

As I walked with her among the trees, my feet scuffling along the leaves making a lovely noise that reminded me of autumn when all the leaves fell to the ground. Autumn had been my favorite season. When I was a little girl, I would eagerly rush out of the house with my parents just to jump into piles and piles of leaves. The leave piles were huge, and I was little. This makes them the perfect spot to hide- among the biggest piles of dried, rusty colored leaves- when my parents try to find me. As I trampled on the leaves, I missed my parents more than ever.

Everything or at least more things seems clear now. My parents are not history. A part of them still lives. I am the part of them who would continue to travel lives’ journey. They are the part of me that would give me the courage and strength to carry on living, no matter how tough life gets...

man, it was so cool when i wrote this...
it was so fun...
and so sad.
these are only fragments...

xd- clastronamphitro

ello...
ok so i screwed big time...
my mind blurred...felt damn bad cos i was suppose help rachel...
and she's sick...den i went to screw it all...
guess it shows that we aren't perfect.
and that when you do this kinda thing, do it for God,
cos he who would understand and appreciate your effort even if you crapped out..
i guess so...

so then when you do it, you don't do it for men, neither do you do it for
your benefit, cos nobody's perfect and if we spen our whole life tryin to please people like that,
we'd be dead beat.
i'm glad that i screwed now i guess.
not cos i really wanted to screw.
but now, i've learned something important...

important...yea...
gossh i'm good at comfortin myself eh?
haha jokin lo..
okok gtg! bye!

okok.
so i might've looked like a freak.
specially when i met my senior..
but its fun! so why shouldn i do?

WHY CAN'T I WALK BACK AND FORTH ON A MOVING TRAIN?
IS THAT A CRIME? ITS SO DAMN FUN! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE MOVIN FORWARD AND BACKWORDS AT THE SAME TIME!
NOBODY'S EVER GOT THE GUTS TO DO IT
AND I'M THE FIRST ONE AND I AM PROUD THAT I DID THAT!
YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE MUCH FUN IF YOU LOVE YOU'RE LIFE ALWAYS SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU!

ok so it was seriously kinda embarrassin but i got reallllly high!
and its really worth people's stares.
and let me tell you a secret, they stare not cos they think you're weird
they just look at me and wish they had the guts to enjoy life like i do.

and i am glad i walked the train while it was movin...

okok gonna go do art!
bye
!

could the hot dude wearing the back shirt, who looks just like the right one please proceed to the counter? we believe a desperate girl is look for you?

i suddenly remeber how my friend use to view guys. she believed guys were just another object put on the shelf for girls to chose. i don't know why i'm tellin you this but i suddenly wonder why they always view dudettes as leftover objects off the shelves and dudes as guys kept in this viewin gallery people go to look when they are despo..

why do people have so many weird theories?why bother lookin your whole life?
why miss everything else going on around waiting for somebody who probably never exists...
why brood over being the last?
why?

i have no idea. cos if aliens look down on the earth, they'd just thing we are the weirdest things to analyse.because, we are complicated?
so if we're already so complicated? why complicate it even more?
am i doing the same thing?
i hope not, i don't wanna miss most of my life.

sorry that was random but i suddenlt though of this is all...
and its reallyweird...
am i the abnormal one here?

ALL RITE ; I JUST REALISED MY DEAR SAM WENT AND ASK ME TO DO THIS STUPIDLY LONG QUIZ=.- (100 qns!) :


A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.:D

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.:D

C) Continue this game by sending it to other people.:D

01. What have you been doing recently?
talking
02. Do you ever turn you cell phone off?
sometimes at night

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
i think i was doin my end year english paper
04. When did you last cry?
few days ago?
05. Believe in fate/destiny?
maybe...
06. What do you want in your life right now?
lotsa stuff. basicall anythin that means fun in my dictionary.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
hood... sometimes umbrella

08. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
this just sounds wrong but oh well... my pillow i think. or the stuffed thing my bro gave me.

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
fbts

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
er... dunnoo.. oh wait i know, but its too personal.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
i do my best not to

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope

13. What was the last movie you caught?
i have no idea...
14. What are you proud of?
hmm. my adrenaline rush
15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
ok this is super long." our biggest record one hour and seven messages.... alot alot of stuff...

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
sarang ah nae gi oh gi man hae

17.Do you have any nicknames?
uh huh alot
18. What does your last received text message say?
its private

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
12 plus

20. Are you currently happy?
not sure. mixed feelings

21. Who gives you best advice?
my frens & family:D

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
nope

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
nobody

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
yea... alot...

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
abigail and maycia

26. Do you wear toe socks?
omg yes!! las time wen i was young in america

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
mom

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
er... you'll never know...

29. What annoys you most in a person?
hmm.. dishonesty i guess.fake smiles.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
...

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
eh... nope

32. What is the colour of your room?
purple

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
no!! omg what kind of evil test is this!

34. Do you believe in the saying of :"talk is cheap?"
yea...

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
hm. me!

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
hm... dunno

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
kissed? no? definitely not

38. Do you have a life?do u hav a brain?
hm... define brain. define life.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?
no?

40. What is the reason behind your profile song??
hm? i dunno.. but i love mcfly! is tha related?

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
omg. a mix of one of my friend. super scary

42. Last time you smiled?
i'm smilin now!

43. Have you changed this year?
yes

44. What are you listening right now ?
obviously

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
uh huh

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
depends. when i sleepwalk, i think my eyes are closed. but then again, i have no idea.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
uh huh...

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
stop invading into my personal life

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
hm i've played loads of instruments.. but most of them i'm crap at.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
well according to joycelyn, walking up and down a moving travelling train. i get the kick outta doin that!

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
drawin for art

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
sure:D

53. What song best describe your love life?
what if i dun have a love life?

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
hmmm

55. Who always make you laugh?
friendsxd

56. Do you speak other language other than English?.
uh huh
57. Favourite website?
icanhascheezburger.com and youtube

58. What's your middle name?
nothin in munugin

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
hm.. discipleship, youth, cousin's house

60. What do you think you are like?
mm. nonsensical
61. Who will you choose to die with?
hm. DIE?!! this is like the most depressin quiz i've ever taken

62. Where have you been today?
school, home abi''s house!xd

63. What game do you play often?
netballxd

64. Who are you missing right now?
some friend

65. If you have to choose between friend n loves, who will you choose?
aren't your friends the people you love?

66. What are you doing right now?
uh... this quiz?

67. Which primary school are you from?
keming, homeschool, marymount

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
green red orange

69. What emotion you like to show?
"high"

70. What is your life to you?
very precious

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
you dun really wanna noe. but one would be... stuffin chocs...

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
mayciaxd

73. Who do you admire most?
hmm... albert einstein, he didn lose his confidence besides havin vad hair days every day..
haha jokin. i dunno who i admire

74. Which month are you born in?
januaryxd

75. How are you feeling right now?
tired, bored

76. What is the time now?
8:21 dun look at the time given at the end of each post, its weird

77. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is??
really bubbly and nicexd

78.What colour did you use to dye hair?
if its temporary like those spray ons, den blue, gold, red, green... durin sports carnival!

79. Why are you doing this test?
i have no freakin idea

80. What do you do when you're moody?
talk to people, eat, watch videos, tv, blog, sleep

81. At which age you wish to get married?
hmm... i dun really care just not too young and not too old

82. Who is more important to you?
God i guess...

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will YOU DO?
hm... seein as the day is almost over, i'd prob tell my rents and friends that i'm goin to die. this way, i can give personal invitaion to my funeral. and i dun want anybody to wear black on my funeral. so demoralisin

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
hmmm. one of my friends i guess...

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
yea!

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
just one? um private

87. What is your goal for this year?
do devotions more daily.

Do you believe in eternity love?
uh huh

89. What feeling do you love most?
relaxed and happy and contented

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
sometimes...

91. What feeling you hate the most?
nervous, like your heart is droppin

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
i hope so!xd

93. Do you believe in God?
YESxd

94. Who cares for you most?
i have no idea? God?

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
friends, God

96. What will you bring when you fight?
depends. parang?O.0

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
private:D

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
ha1 that will never happen!
haha jk. hm.. sick
99. What if your stead two-timed you?
if there was evidence i'd ask him why. i hate this quiz

100.HOW DO U FEEL NOW?
half pissed half excited and very hungry





BYE PEEPOS!!!(; THANKS FOR BOTHERING TO READ THIS!!(:

i shan't inflict on you the pain of doin this dont worry!xdxd






6:17 AM

ello dudes and dudettes!
currently in er... lscep class.. suppose to be studyin,
but the atmosphere is too lively..so oh well...
screw my math... yesterday spend so much time tryin to understand..
in the end today i didn do that question...so confusin...
so it's blank except from some weird nonsensical thingamajigs...so the paper dun look so blank...oh well...

i love history ad lit...so fun!!!
but seriously, math is one thing i find imposiible to get...
i mean, it's all just eguations... now dun have problem solvin..
so not fun...
oh and the music playlist thing is killin me.
it doesn't work here cos youtube is blocked and most of the stuff come from youtube...
the thing is, even those not from youtube is screwed big time...

anw, spendin too much time playin..should study more...yeah right.
i've been tryin to fix the website... my mom sorta messed up the links.oh wait.
i think i've already told ya'll that...right?
ok nevermind, as if anybody's gonna asnwer.

JOYCELYN!! WHERE'S MY BLOGSKIN?!!
any inspiration yet?no?

gosh
soo tired...
wanna sleep...now...
augh..
my playlist still take so super long to load..and the scroll bar not workin!!!
hmmpphh...

listenin to some weird music... jest's music to be exact...
i don't understand a single thing the girl is singing...
cos jestellynn's ear piece is so bloody big, it can't fit into my poor ears...
sad...

.. ... ...... .....

well, while everybody is obsessin over photoshop, i shall go do art...
sad.
we're suppose to combine different countries' treditional costumes into one fashion wear.
yea like that will ever happen. i spent one hour on ONE drawin..
thank goodness, i thought we had to draw all twenty photos...
actually only needa draw four...that means four hours i guess..
i'm doin spanish and gypsy...
and abi's doin THE SAME THING!!
and her design looks like mine!!
crap.
oh well, you knwo wha they say, great minds think alike!
ok so maybe we aren't that great at art but at least, we can sharpen pencils...
right abi?

hey loook at this...

BARNEY!!!
whhee!!!!

okok sorry that was random but i suddenly remmebered selena gomez which led me to remember her actin, which made me further remember that she acted in barney before..
HAHA...

sorry...
anw, not use to usin white as bg color....
oh well...
joycelyn and jest are comparin people...
on the internet??
i dun understan actually..
and as usual, jest is listenin to demi lovato...
maycia and abi engrossed in photoshop.
kusumo.. well i dun really get what she is doin..
teacher playin games...
funny lo...

i made abi listen to sarang ah nae gi oh gi man hae...
haha.
sooo nice!!
i love that song!!
i dun really know why...
i just do..
and joycelyn reminded me of gettin depressed...
after watchin because i'm a girl...
which is a really sad video..its in the playlist too!!
the video is there too...

abi is starin at this ask a ninja thing..weid if you ask me...

abi's pointe shoes are beside me...i'm suppose to teach her(??!!!)
i can barely walk without dyin on those shoes!
gosh they sure hurt... big time...


and i didn get to buy sansha...and abi's pointe's are sansha...
mine are bloch(how to spell??)
and hey hurt
and the sole is so thick...
doh...

gosh this is the best part of school...
i just realized... my teacher is like takin picts of us and printin them out...
gosh it makes me feel like a convict or smth?
i dunno...
all of us are like sleepppyy...
i helped you find him! his name is dennis oh...
ok sorry, dat was for my dear friend....she loves dennis oh...

i saw you meet you're new girl just yesterday
and i feel that i must confess
even though it kills me to have to say,
i'll admit that i was impressed...
that's the song i'm listenin to now...
and abi is listenin too.

haha!!
okay next song...

파란 하늘이 눈부셔... 왠지 가슴이 아파와
나도 그대의 눈가에 이슬 맺히면
상상속에서 나~에게 다가올것만 같은 그대를
언제 부~턴가 기다렸었-죠~

아직~ 사랑을~ 몰라서.. 그댈~ 몰라서....
언제 사랑이 올까? waiting~ for your love
그대 조금만! 더~ 가~까이~ 올 순 없나요~??
내 사랑아 baby my sweet heart~♥

너무나 많은 사람들 어떻게 사랑 하는지
나만 혼자 모르고 살았나봐요~
아주 따뜻한 포근한~ 때로는 달콤한 사랑으로~
항상 진하게 내게~ 웃던 그ㅡ대~

아~직~ 사랑을 몰라서~ 그댈 몰라서~~
언제? 사랑이 올까~ waiting for your love~~
그대 조금만 더~ 가까이 올 순 없나요~~~?
내 사랑아 baby my sweet heart~

생각만 해도 너무나 행복한 너를 볼때면~
하루에도~ 수 천번 사랑한단~ 말~~~
언제 어떻게 사랑이 내게 오려나 기~다렸는데에
이미 온걸요~ 그댈 알고~ 부터어~
그대를 위한 자리가~ 내 가슴 속에 있어요~
나는 그대를 위해서 태어난 사람~
그대 내게로 온~다면~ 함께 할 시간 이~ 순간부터어~
꿈처럼 멋진 나의 사랑아~내게 오기만 해

sorry, if there's any wrong phrasin or words...haha}
so fun!!

gosh this is a veryyy long post....
anw.. maybe i'll post more later. but for now,

g'day mates! i'm off to go

do art-.-

okay today was quite funny...
we had home econs pract...
and i'm not gonna comment on mine. i'm just glad it managed to set...
haha...
abigail was like the inspector...
but mostly she ate joycelyn's
joycelyn's smelt great.. but apprently the chocs melted..
but it must have been great... abi ate like five of them...
kusumo! bought all my agar agar. as in my WHOLE box...
i sold it to her for $1.00. super cheap...
haha
joycelyn's were free. only i didn feel like eatin chocs.
that is, till she took out her whole GIAGANTUS bag of choc chips...
boy, we ate plenty...
yan min's was great... i bought two from her. it was strawberry..
simple but it tasted great.
and there were soo many pretty designs!!
zelda's looked like tiramisu... hmm.. pretty pretty...
and it was fun!...and havoctic at the same time.
i suddenly feel guilty for wastin all the food though...
i made loads of agar for prac and threw loads away...

i got sent out the class today by my com arts cher...
haha okay don't misunderstand, i didn do anythin wrong...
its like this:
the teacher gave out the holiday homework he had previously collected...
but the one i received was some other compre i did ages ago and not the june hol hw...
so the teacher sent me to the library...to complete it. so i wouldn see the answers he was going through...
i told jestellynn that i went for detention.
and she told joycelyn and jennifer and who knows who else she told...
gee i was only kiddin. and they were like " gloria what happened?"
HAHA....
my mom is watchin power ranges...
so cute luh she...
she waitin for my com..she wants to play game...HAHA...

my cme exam rocked...
i was so fun doin it.... no offence, it was quite retarded... but oh well...

tmr is chinese class test... have fun rei, prepare for doom...

-i fell [n love w]th the voice on the rad][o

i always wondered, how somebody could feel if it happened to them.
sure i know they felt terrible,
so i wished i would understand how they felt. having maybe then
but now, its happening to me....and i can't imagine how anybody could live with it.
which makes me wanna point out... be careful what you wish for.
in a place like this there is no space for mistakes.
but i haven't got the chance to climb at all.. this decision could change my life.
the more i think about it, the more the _____ sound good. not that my current one doesn.
but i must be quiet about it first i guess... or i'm just chopped dead...
i mean, as i said, i'm not goin upwards. i thought i was over that when i reached seven...
gosh, anw, it has to be this tough huh?

and my website is screwed and i can't get anybody to help with it...
i'm dead. pronounced dead... rest in peace...

anyway, to lighten up abit, school is gettin tirin. stupid exams.
but i'm havin fun sleepin...can't wait till the holidays...
joycelyn abi and maycia however, are gettin into the mood... apparently its workin for me too..
wowwowwet...cool. i just wish we could go now...
and we haven't celebrated poptarts.and i dun think we ever will.
for one thing, that was dated so way back.


thnks mel, it really helped talkin to you...
xdxd....
gosh...
i'm sleepy...
but i'm still makin agar agar. pathetic if you ask me. sleeeppppppyyy.......
so cool..

yesterday's show was super cool though.!!
as in superb!!!
okok nevermind.
i'm happy now... i just hope i don't leave anythin behind tmr..
or i'd be dead

gosh
my pooooor website. i'm havin severe prob with it...
sad case.

anw, i gtg now, pizzazz!!
xd

gosh
the near exam days couldn get any worse.
i ate a whole bar of chocs ytd...
and there wasn any netball today...which meanss
i'm about dunno how manny calories fatter.
but oh well, its worth it...

i suddenly feel like hybernating for the rest of the winter..
listening to all for love now. and then yea i guess its right...
love, who could honestly believe that was enough. well answer is me.
and ytd i was watchin les choristes . it was so sweet...

les choristes. the best. but between this and libera, i just can't say which is better.
both are equally awesome.
no kiddin...
fine, you might not like it.. but i do!!
and its so cool..
anw, gtg practice agar agar..
heavens, i think this is like er... the tenth or eleventh time im practisin...

Footprints in the Sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand Where I'm going
You walked with me When I was all alone
With so much unknown Along the way
Then I heard you say
I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
I see my life Flash across the sky
So many times have I Been so afraid
And just when I Have thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
Thats when I heard you say
I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
When I'm weary
Well, I know you've been there
And I can feel you when you say
I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness
And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
When your heart is full of sadness And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

i'm half dying away here...
i don't get what's with the tests and all.. i feel like not carin...i don't mind not studyin and failin.
i don't mind. but i can't.having my one is enough. and it makes me wanna scream but i'll do my best.. one is enough. they dunnid two the same.although i would rather be
the one that didn study...
it's not for me to decide.i just take whatever role there is left.
so don't say i lead a borin life. it's not for you to decide. if i wanted, my life won't be full of this.
no use frettin over something i can't change. but sometimes, i just don't like what i have to do..

i've never wondered though why its like that, till now.
and i still can't figure out why. but since it's this way, i'll just deal with it.
i can'thelp wondering now though. what if it was the other way around?
would i be happier? or not happy at all?
i like my life... i'm just wondering. and there can't be possibly anything wrong with that right?
i mean just believin, just livin life without knowin why. can you honestly tell me that's enough?

anw, today was quite cool.
when lunch with rents...with some korean-americans...which was way cool...
they had a son and a daughter. and although i can't really rmb how my brother and i were like when we were that young, i have to say i can feel the resemblance...
and i feel happy cos i'm reminded of my care-free days...
and boy, that five and a half year old dude, his badminton is so awesome for his age..
i predict he'll be real good at badminton... like my bro.. but he gave it up...
their house was nice.i watched part of the sound of music.and i again i remember the time i was like six, i would watch that movie over and over again..

i'm eatin dinner now.
i'm sorry ab, i dun feel like replyin any message. just dun judge your self worth based on whether your cuz wants to crack her arch bone on pointe... its just not worth it.. besides, if she's soo rich, she should just go to america to study or something and leave you alone...
sometimes i really can't help thinking if that dudette irons her bedsheets and toilet paper and everythin down to the last mm...

anw, okok i gtg wash stuff i used for agar agar...
which by now is a success!!

bye!

okay here's the thing.

why are terms of endearment always food?
like honey, cookie, muffin, sweetie pie,
and like loads of others...it's like lovin somebody is enought to sustain you the way food does...
this is got from jodi picoult's my sister's keeper...and then i start to wonder why too...

anw i feel crappy...
firstly, i didn hand in pbl... no sould handed any in today except cindy:)
gosh i'm in tons of trouble.

secondly i just cried like loads. i think its the stress... but its not as if i'm being as stressed as
the sec fours..so seriously what is wrong with me. seriously i think the late nights are starting to take its toll on my health... which is crappy cos i dun sleep that late...
i was like swearing like xiao in class durin science. and jestellynn was whining...
but there isn anythin else to do durin science but whine, curse and copy down notes which the teacher flashes so fast its next to impossible to copy.

sigh.

i talked to jest...feel better...
sigh.. so dumb. they expect us to study and do work at the same time. we alr have so much to study and still, we have to do weir stuff like agar agar....
gosh.
i ate three apples one go today. which further expresses how crappy i'mfeelin..i didn even touch candy..

gosh i'm hardly outta my poor back to school blues and know comes my exam blues...
okok gotta go tweats...
i'm gonna go wash the dishes..
okok. bye loves!!

ello dears...
okok nvm... anw, i'm officially a god-sister of a hockey stick... zelda's hockey stick...
it's reall pretty red... i can't remember it's name though... i want a red netball!!!!
okoknvm...
anw, i'm watchin america's got talent... omy goodness me... they are just fabuloso...
i mean they are absolutel y AWESOME!!really!! and that's seriously the understatment of the century...seriously..

and i wanna watch twilight...i think it'll be cool....
anw... goodness...
gtg
bye lo!!

Footprints in ths sand

You walked with me footprints in the sand
And helped me understand where I'm going
You walked with me when I was all alone
With so much unknown along the way
Then I heard you say

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life Flash across the sky
So many times have I Been so afraid
And just when I Have thought I'd lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
Thats when I heard you say

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

When I'm weary
Well, I know you've been there
And I can feel you when you say

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand
When your heart is full of sadness And despair
I'll carry you When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

hello.... again...
okay anw, i've gotta start thinkin of new ways to greet...
but oh well...

gosh i am morbidly depressed...
and it's not just the carnival...

omg do you have any idea how freakin long it took to get it out of my head??
and then i didn wanna help.. i knew it would come back...
and it did...
but it was still okay... until now...
and its worse then i imagined...
i dun really feel like eating chocs...

i gtg ppl..
sad that the holidays are over so quickly though...
byelo!!

i'm gonna smile cos i deserve to...

ello!!
anw, my mom is giving me the guilty treatment right now. she wants me to go for some walk with her and some dudes and dudettes...you know the okay.... you don't have to go... but sigh.. you know it won't be as fun.. they're lookin forward to seein you...sigh......i mean... i don't mind going.. but i've got plenty of work and it wouldn help if i don't complete it today... blame it on home ecs...

anw.... gosh i really feel like dying.. feel kinda bad cos i didn go netball.. I MEAN TMR IS THE CARNIVAL!!... but my head was spinnin like that and i think i sprained my neck.... my mom gave me the guilty the treatment for that too... so in the end i spent the whole morning on chinese and literature... lit was fun.. but chinese...goodness... i decided that the only way i could prepare for the test is by doing my own xi zi...which i killin my hands now.... OWW...

i didn even get to go for youth fellowship or discipleship.. and i wun be able to go for my first bap class tmr.... snifff.....

okay gtg now... sigh... guess whats for lunch? sweet potato and corn... not bad really... but really fillin!!

xd: pineapple juice

ello!!

i have decided to make my posts colorful!!
so here goes:

haha this is like the fourth post i made today...
gosh is my life really that dull??!!!!
ahhh.... nothing to do.. i ahte tv advertisements... oh and pls pls whoever visits, plspls tag with you blog add kaaayyy??
thnks...

anw, didn do th much today lei... sigh.. tmr no piano.. but alot of work...
i have yet to study for chinese test... doh...

here goes to my funky friend!!
i really miss seeing you lo!!
haha talk to me more often okay?
and my friend wants to know more about you
write soon!!
haha...

okay sorry that was really really weird...

anw, just finish watchin this show.. really funny..
actually it wasn funny..
but i kept laughin anw...
gosh i think when i was young somebody hit me hard on the head...
but that's okay i forgive you, whoever you are..
just becareful with future babies you handle..XD
haha...i'm having so much fun!! not doin anything...

my mom is stoning on the couch...either that or she is sleepin with her eyes open..
gee i'm so tired i could hibernate...
but i dun feel like sleeping..
i hate nightmares... i bet they were dreams whose parents didn teach them well and they became night mares...gosh...

my friends thinks i'll forever be some kid...
oh i seriously hope not...
though it would be fun..
but people say i don't act my age.
that's not really my fault eh?
after all, i've been homeschooled and been hangin out with kids younger than me...
so what can i say
THANKS SO MUCH JENNIFER FOR BEING IN THE SAME CLASS AS ME!
I DON'T FEEL SO LEFT OUT!!

AH.. I SERIOUSLY LOVE THE SONG PLAYIN NOW...
its so sweet...
sigh..
oh and i was watchin this korean drama... and the guy was so sweet!!
okay nvm... i am just being extremely random!!

i have yet to get jestellynn's birthday present...
SO SUPER SORRYYY!!!!
my mom is still stoning..
my dad is completely konked out...
poor dude... he's been sick and the antibiotics makes him extremely drousy...
my mom says its a good thing, cos other wise, he won't be able to sleep at all..

i'm suddenly thinkin of mac and cheez..
i love mac and cheez!!
brings back the awesome memories of my camamelicious times in america..
okay my mom is done stoning..
which means i've gotta go!!

righto! sweet dreams dear knights and knightess(??!!!)
i shall see you bright and early tomorrow for your sword fightin training!
sleep well, for we have a long day ahead!!
oops... the candy is takin its effect..
anw, cheerios and a toast to caramelicious fantasies...

ello peeps!! lala

haha.

ello love, i think we'll get along really fine eh?
haha..sorry.. being weird.. as usual

did de agar agar thing today... gosh seriously, i mean, chocolate agar?
has anybody heard of such a thing??
hmmpphhh..
GUESS WHAT PPL! I DID FOUR MATH QUESTIONS TODAY!!
claps for me right?
haha okay maybe it wasn alot but.. it's the effort not the quantity that counts right?
and my rents are playing my conscience now..hmph..
they are like fussin me to do my chores...
which i'm suppose to do so like TOMORROW!
I REALLY FEEL SAD FOR GROWN UPS WHO HAVE SEEM TO LOST THE TRUE MEANING OF FUN.
yes that's right, i think you've learned it before in nursery my dears..
oh well, if you're willin, i'm willin to play teacher!

okay sorry kinda weird now..haha
boy i am tired..
it hink.. but its so boring.. wanna talk to someone lei..
hmph lo.. i know i talk alot but.. oh well

HELLO SCHOOL? MISS ME?
CAUSE I DON'T MISS YOU!!
HA!YOU CAN'T MAKE ME MISS YOU!!

man, but i miss my dear funky classmates...haha
OH WELL...

okay sorry for postin a dumb post...anw

keep smilin yea?
okok
i'm off..
to do what else? chores...

okidoes... back from netball..
like i predicted, it was great fun... except for the stupid rain and all.. but oh well.
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE CARNIVAL!
but i'm kinda worried i'll just pull the whole team down...
i mean everybody knows they are all so much better in me..
i can't concentrate durin training though i try hard to. i'm just so scared i won't get anythin right... i still have a mountain of homework...

i feeel like kaughin and crying at the same time...sigh...
anw.. nothing much to say... yea...

i seriously hope i'll be able to finish my hw on time...haha

okok toodles ppl! i've got work to do!!

okay. as i predicted, the holidays are getting from bad to worse...
and i have yet to even create a nice agar agar recipe!goodness, don't even like agar agar!!!
no one's at home now.. which is weird.. i just woke up... dunno lei...
some private nmber called me.. then i was like ello?ello? ello?
dunno how many times i said ello de poor dudette or dude still didn say anythin...
do i sound that scary in the morning?!! or maybe the person dialled wrong no..
anw, after that, i couldn sleep. have netball later on...
really tired soi think i'll have to drag my feet there.
but once i get there after the long journey,i'm sure it'll be fun.. i always have fun durin netball...

oh and i am so sorry shingyee!!i promise promise i'll give the five dollars for class fund on monday.. you told me to put it in my pencil case right? and that's exactly where i put it..
no wait.. i think i put it in my bag... or was it my walllet?? aiyah still early i can find:) sorry!!

sigh when i look at the amount of workload i'm gettin, i really really pity the sec 2, 3, 4, 5 and jc students.. because if even me, someone in sec one is gettin this amount of workload, i seriously can't imagine how much work they're gettin....

o well.. i'll just thank God that i get to sleep in a little bit.. i don't feel like a big rock now everyday..:)))

oh yea and ppl wo caome and tag, plsplspls leave your blog add too regardless of whether i have alr linked you or not... yea thnks.. dun have a blog??... leave your mom's..haha jokin...

my mind's a little mixed up now... gee...

anw, i've gotta go get chocs.. more chocs... and candy strips..

so:)) catcha later!!

me- candy= bad bad day...